Grocery Store Etiquette

I think that there should be a course offered in grocery store etiquette. Some people just don't know when they're crossing the line. Before I had Grace, I didn't seem to get annoyed at the grocery store. Of course there was the odd person that left their cart in the middle of the aisle, or moved too slow in front of me, but it wasn't a big deal. I would just take a deep breath and keep on trucking.

Now that I have a child, grocery store trips are totally different. Grace actually loves the grocery store and enjoys squealing at random strangers, throwing the groceries from the cart and chewing on anything she can get her hands on. Most people are sweet, constantly commenting on how adorable my little girl is as they walk past. Grace always responds with a big smile. She is definitely the centre of attention at the grocery store.

First time in the cart at the grocery store!

Then there are the people that cross the line (in my opinion), making comments that they should keep to themselves. They usually direct the comments at Grace, as if saying them to her makes it that much more acceptable. I almost always just smile at them, holding in what I really want to say!

Here is an example of some comments that I have heard over the past 10 months:

Woman to Grace: "Poor girl - you must be cold without a jacket". She then starts rubbing Grace's arms and says "Yep, she's cold."
What I'm thinking "First of all, get your dirty hands off my baby, please and thank you. Second, she's perfectly fine in her t-shirt and would be sweating buckets if I put a jacket on her....but thanks for the advice."

Woman to Me: "She's so tiny for her age."
Me: "Yes, she is quite small."
Woman to Grace: "Mommy needs to feed you some good food and fatten you up!"
What I'm thinking: "What? I'm supposed to feed her? DUH!!! First of all, she eats plenty of good food. The child never stops eating. Second, why would I want to fatten her up when the doctors say that she is a perfectly healthy weight?"

Woman to Grace: "I hope you don't fall out of that cart. You're not strapped in very well."
Me: "Oh don't worry - she's not going to fall out."
What I'm thinking: "Yes, I'm just going to let my child fall out of the cart. Idiot! She is strapped in with the only strap that the cart has!!!"

Creepy Middle-aged Man to Me: "Cute baby and cute Mommy too", followed by creepy smile
I think you know what I was thinking.

Moms, what are some of the inappropriate things that strangers have said to you at the grocery store?

The most recent comment I received was directed at me, not Grace. I was in line at the grocery store and as I was putting my groceries on the belt, the lady behind me started talking to Grace.

This is the conversation that followed:
Lady: She's so sweet. How old is she?
Me: Thank you. She's 10 months.
Lady: Wow, you look great for having a 10 month old baby.
Me: Aww, thank you so much. (At this point I'm thinking that this lady is just being nice, complimenting me).
Lady: After I had my kids, I never could lose the weight. (AWKWARD)
Me: Oh, how many kids do you have?
Lady: Four. I always hated women like you that lost the baby weight so easy. I have a friend just like you. I swear she just farted and the baby weight was gone. (UM....WHAT?????!!!!)
Me: Well, the weight didn't actually come off that easily for me.
Lady: Sorry honey, but I find that hard to believe.
This would be the point where I look to the cashier with a panicked look and she asks me right on cue if I have bags for my groceries. Crisis averted - I will not throw a tantrum at the grocery store today.

Now, I know that this woman probably thought that she was being nice, complimenting me and telling me that I look good. However, I was HIGHLY ANNOYED by her comments. She didn't know me. Who was she to jump to the conclusion that the baby weight had fallen off of me? I worked my ass off to lose that weight. I put in a lot of hours, sweat and sore muscles to get back to where I was pre-baby.

Each week, I continue to be amazed by the random strangers at the grocery store that feel the need to give me parenting advice. By all means, say hi to my baby, tell her she's adorable, make her smile....but don't make inappropriate comments or jump to conclusions.