I Miss You, Sleep!

Warning: this post will not be uplifting and positive. It will be downright grumpy.

I love sleep. I was always one of those people that got no less than 8 hours of sleep each night. On weekends, I would often sleep in until close to noon, no matter what time I'd gone to bed. I've been known to sleep 12+ hours/night. When I got pregnant, I fully understood that having a baby meant dealing with a lack of sleep. I knew that there would be good days and bad days. I knew what I was getting into and I was prepared to deal with it, because I knew that it would all be worth it.


Those were the days! My peaceful little sleeper at 1 week old.


Well, I thought I knew what I was getting into. What I didn't realize was that the sleep issues would not resolve themselves after a month! I guess I just assumed that after a couple of months, she would be sleeping well without any intervention. This is where I was wrong! Grace is now over 6 months old and is still up many times each night. She fights naps during the day and I feel like in the run of a day, she spends more time fighting sleep than actually sleeping. When she wakes up, her idea of self-soothing is to scream at the top of her lungs until I can't handle it anymore and go in to pick her up. Most nights, the only way I can get her calmed down is to nurse her back to sleep (trust me - I know it's the wrong thing to do, but when you're sleep deprived, you'll do anything to get them back to sleep)!


I felt the need to post these sleeping pictures
as a reminder to myself that she does sleep sometimes!


There are so many books out there full of advice on what to do to get your baby to sleep. Everyone has different opinions on what works and what doesn't. It's overwhelming. It's intimidating. It sucks. I don't want to leave my baby to cry until she throws up. I don't want to spend an hour picking her up and putting her back down (especially in the middle of the night). I just want her to sleep!!! The worst thing is that she'll have a good night or 2 of sleep and I'll get excited about the change. Then, she'll have the worst night ever (like last night) and I'll feel like we're starting all over again.

I really wish that babies could tell you what's bothering them. Last night, there was definitely something bothering Grace (I think...unless she's really good at fooling me). She woke up every hour or so, screaming at the top of her lungs. The soother didn't work. Rocking didn't work. Pacing the floors didn't work. Nursing didn't even work at times. Her belly seemed to be the problem. She's been having some major gas pains and stomach issues since starting solid foods. She has acid reflux and I'm not sure if it has been aggravated by the food or if it's totally unrealated. Again...if only she could tell me. Anyone have any suggestions of how to help with gas pains? We've done Ovol, Gripe Water, belly massage, pushing legs up...it all provides temporary relief, but then bothers her in another hour or so. It could also be teething. She has been chewing and drooling more than usual the last couple of days, but there's no sign of teeth.

I often wonder what I will do if Grace is still not sleeping when I return to work in September. There's no way I could be up all night and then at work all day. I'd be one cranky teacher! Hopefully some changes will happen before then and Grace will realize just how glorious sleep is!

I will say that despite the lack of sleep, Grace is still a happy baby for the most part. She woke up with a smile this morning and I know that there will be many moments today when I will wonder how I could have gotten so annoyed with her last night. I love her with all my heart and wouldn't trade her for anything (even a full night's sleep)! We will push forward with our day and pretend that we are rested. I will drag my butt to my workout and use every ounce of energy I have left. Then, I will come home and crash. For today, I will let her nap on top of me if she wants. We will snuggle up on the couch and as she lays there sleeping peacefully, I will thank my lucky stars for my beautiful baby girl. I won't think for one second about the horrible night we had. I just need to keep telling myself, "Today is a new day. Tonight will be better".


"Good morning, Mommy!"


Today's "Moment full of Grace" is not one specific occurence, but something that happens all the time. I think that babies are fascinating and I could sit all day and just watch them. It's truly amazing to see them explore new things. They are so excited about the world around them. I'm one of those Moms that gets overly excited when my baby does something new. My voice gets high pitched, my eyes are as wide as saucers and my expressions are embarassing! I remember the first time that Grace reached for the toys on her vibrating chair, the first time she took her soother out on her own and the first time she discovered her feet. I know that these are silly little moments, but to me they are milestones. Every little thing she does is a milestone. I love the way that her face looks when she does something new. She always has a big smile for me and looks so proud of herself, like she knows that she is impressing me! Santa brought Grace a jumperoo for Christmas. In the beginning, it was way too big and her little feet couldn't touch the floor (see picture below). Just recently, she has been able to fit into it, but hasn't had any clue what to do. She just stands there, playing with the toys. Well, this week, she learned how to jump! :) I will never forget the look on her face the first time that she got into a little jumping fit. She was smiling from ear to ear and she let out one of her high pitched squeals that she does when she's excited. She was SO proud of herself! Nothing mattered in that moment except for that expression on her face. :)
 

Grace in her Jumperoo
December 26, 2010



Grace in her Jumperoo
March 14, 2011

  One last thing...I just got sad after posting these pictures, because LOOK HOW BIG SHE HAS GOTTEN! Ugh...they grow up too fast!!!