A Change of Heart

I woke up this morning feeling sorry for myself. Grace had been up half the night and I was exhausted, frustrated and annoyed - was my little girl ever going to sleep? I had every intention of making today's post about sleep frustrations....then, I had a change of heart.

Before I started writing, I decided to do some blog reading of my own. I clicked on Jenn Zahavich's blog, "Baby, will you love me when I'm bald?" (http://babywillyoulovemewhenimbald.blogspot.com/). A couple of weeks ago, I had seen this blog link all over Facebook and after doing some investigating, I realized that Jenn had recently lost her battle with cancer. At the time, I went to her blog and read a couple of her posts, but never got a chance to read the whole blog. I knew that these posts would be emotional and that I'd have a hard time reading them (due to her recent passing), so I waited until I was home alone and had the baby asleep. I curled up in my pj's on the couch and started to read. My eyes never left the laptop screen from beginning to end. I read about her battle with cancer as a young Mom and I cried more tears than I ever expected.

The thing that amazed me about this blog is that I thought I would feel sad and depressed after reading it. Instead, I felt inspired. I felt grateful. I felt emotions I can't even explain. Although I didn't know Jenn personally, I could tell very quickly that she was an incredibly positive person. She lived life to the fullest! As I read through her blog entries, I found I was putting myself in her shoes. How would I react if dealt with a similar situation? Would I be able to focus on the positive things, instead of the negative? I find it very hard to put into words what I'm feeling after reading her blog. I keep typing things and then deleting them, because they don't portray my true feelings. I highly recommend that everyone go to Jenn's blog and read her posts - you'll quickly understand what I'm talking about.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm never going to complain again, but for today, I'm just going to cherish what I have. I may have been up half the night with a cranky baby, but at least she has her Mommy. I may have gained a pound this week, but at least I'm healthy. I may get annoyed with my husband for leaving a mess around the house, but at least I have him to curl up with at night. Life is short. So, I challenge you to live today like it's your last. In Jenn's last post before her death, she tells us to "Spread Love". I will follow her lead by telling you that all you are guaranteed is today, so take advantage! Take your baby in bed with you, even though it goes against the "rules". Stay in your pajamas all day. Look through old photo albums. Call your parents and thank them for everything they've done. Sleep in (for those of you that have the luxury of doing this)! Eat sugary cereal. Get outside for some fresh air. Look in the mirror and like what you see. Smile at a stranger. Smother your baby in kisses. Tell yourself that the dishes can wait and instead, spend that time playing with your child and listening to their laughter. Most importantly, take a minute to think about everything you have to be grateful for. You are blessed. I am blessed. Now, go on - LIVE! :)

PJ Playtime with Grace :)